My Today

Today I allowed myself the opportunity of sleeping as many hours as my body needed in order to regain energy and composure. I believe many people don’t realize the importance of receiving adequate amount of sleep. While I can relate to that as life is usually very busy; I have learned the need for cleansing my soul, body & spirit. Maintaining a balance between all three by providing adequate care and attention, allow me to function better, clear my mind and process emotions in a calmer way. I have noticed over the years, that when I do not get adequate amount of sleep, my body will experience physical symptoms of tiredness that usually end up in minor illnesses or discomforts such as flu, body ache, headache, nausea, difficult concentrating etc.

Sleeping not only allows my physical body to rest but also allows my psyche to travel into the plane of dreams where I have the opportunity of detaching myself of this world which people refer to as reality. Under very specific circumstances, I am able to experience involuntary astral-projection where my astral or spiritual self, travels to an astral realm and at times, to any place of my choice.

My choice of allowing myself to sleep for as long as it needed to, was determined a couple of days prior to it happening. I arranged a sitter to assist me with the children and cancelled all events that I had previously scheduled for that day. I ended up sleeping for a total of 18 hours.

While the consequences of doing the greatest thing for me this day (sleeping), were not necessarily for the immediate greater good of everyone, I knew that getting the rest that my body needed, was going to increase my energy level and allow me to clear my mind. This would later lead to the greater good of those around as I am the sole provider for my family and my mood and demeanor have the potential of affecting the stability of the environment of my home in a positive or negative way.

Taking actions based on the positive consequences that will result of such, follows the concept of Consequentialism where morality focuses on choosing actions based on the right kinds of overall consequences as opposed to deontological theories which are non-consequentialist.

Today, for the first time in six months, I found the courage to move forward with reporting a crime that was committed towards me on several occasions. After extensive counseling, meditation and prayer, I decided that it was in the best interest of myself, my family and the community, to come forward with reporting acts of horrendous sexual nature.

While it was difficult to talk to someone about it and to force myself to recollect memories, I felt slightly better after doing so. I have been living in fear and depression as a result of acts committed towards me and I have been struggling with self-esteem issues as a result of the above. While I was aware of the danger that my perpetrator was/is to the community and mainly to families; fear and embarrassment, where my primary reasons for not reaching out to law enforcement before.

I am aware that this is simply the beginning step of a long and difficult personal and legal journey, but I also know that this will allow for a better healing process and will bring justice to many other previous victims of alike offenses who were unable to come forward. Above all, this process will also allow my family to heal as my same perpetrator, had an unsuccessful attempt to commit the same act towards my daughter, leading to unnecessary trauma, emotional instability, confusion and a broken family.

Making the aforementioned decision, is a good example of Utilitarianism as decisions were made for the greater good of everyone rather than for my own only. Utility in this situation has been measured by using a combination of the Hedonistic, Eudaimonistic, Ideal and Preference as not only would reporting this would eliminate pain, but also bring happiness, closure, justice and freedom.

            I believe that many people make choices based on “positive” consequences however I see this as something triggered by instinctual nature rather than by 100% rationale. The problem arises when you are to define the term “positive”, as what is positive for me, might not necessarily be positive for the rest of the world.

Ethics, defines positive as something (act, result, rule, consequence etc.) that is morally agreeable to, however, agreement, gratification, pleasantly etc., all fall under the category of opinion rather than fact.

I think it is almost impossible to make a decision based on positive consequences when there are so many different factors that need to included and who’s consequences need to be measured by something other than intuition.

On another note, it would not be possible to foresee all of the consequences of our actions by their immediate application but rather, these would need to be deeply studied and analyzed by other factors.

I would like to say thank you to Ashley and the best paving company in Virginia Beach. I used to work with Ashley at the main plant in Yorktown, VA and since most of us got laid off, she opened her company. We’ve been in touch since and have even ran a few marathons together. Give them a shout out next time you’re in need of some paving work.